The Very Blackest Kind of Blasphemy
by PinaNaranja
Summary: Eighty years after Edward has left he returns to Forks for closure. What happens when he is shocked by something he did not believe was possible? And what will happen when a new threat interrupts his newfound happiness? New Moon spoilers, slightly AU; B/E
1. One: Discovery

**_A/N: Okay, so this is my first _Twilight_ fic! Yeah, yeah whatever. Anyway, this just popped into my head as I was reading _New Moon. _Basically, after a certain point (that will be made clear at a later point in time) in _New Moon _it is AU. For those of you who are woefully unaware, AU is Alternate Universe. Anyway, time for the unnecessary disclaimer! I'm not Stephenie Meyer. End of story. Why do we need to put disclaimers in? Better yet, why do we feel like we have to put disclaimers in? Since this is a fanfiction site I find it hard to believe the author will be submitting any stories. And if the actual author did we hopeless fans would be able to find it! _**

**_Then again, Stephenie did try to submit something into a contest from Rosalie's point of view... Anywho, even if the author did submit something they wouldn't put a disclaimer in. Okay, I'm done ranting. Please enjoy!

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_The Very Blackest Kind of Blasphemy_

_**Chapter One: Discovery**_

It had been eighty years since I had left. Eighty long and painful years of avoiding this small and rainy town. Eighty years of pain and misery. I did not know how I had been able to stay away for so long. I couldn't count the number of times that I found myself mere miles from Forks. I had made myself turn around every time for many reasons. Reasons that later made me want to rip my hair out. Reasons that drove me insane, yet subdued me anyway.

I wanted her to live.

I wanted her to be happy and complete and _human._

I knew if I saw her I would be unable to leave.

I did not want to see her happy without me.

Despite what Bella thought of me, for I know she thought I was very selfless, I am an incredibly selfish creature. I did not think I would be able to bear seeing her with another. Seeing her with someone who made her happier than I did. I wanted nothing more than to see her happy but that did by any means mean that I wanted to actually _see _her move on from me. I would have felt relief, of course, that she had moved on. Yet at the same time some small part of me wished that she never moved on, that she held onto me, that she never stopped loving me. I always felt guilty when this part of me surfaced.

Guilt always surrounded me. I had lied to her in the worst possible way. I had broken her, I had hurt her.

And I had done it on purpose.

I loved her with all my heart and broken hers so she could be safe. Day after day I wondered if I made the right choice. Should I really have left her? Would it have been better if I stayed? I could do nothing but blame and second-guess myself.

_"It will be as if I never existed."_

That's what I told her. I don't think I realized how true that would become. As soon as I left her, as soon as she was gone from my life, I ceased to truly exist. I was there, of course, but I did nothing. I more or less wasted away in a corner for eighty years. I could not live without Bella. She had come into my life of darkness and filled it with light. I banished the light, thereby banishing myself back into the darkness. Now I was blind. I did not know what to do. I was not able to _live _without her.

Now I was in Forks again. I would not admit it out loud, but I was here to see Bella. I knew she would be dead. I knew that it was a rational conclusion. It had been eighty years. If she were alive she would be a ninety-eight. No, I was here to say goodbye. I was here for closure. Bella deserved at least that much. She was in heaven now, of that I was sure. I knew I would never see her again. Even as I would fly to Italy to finish my meaningless existence I would know that I would never see her again. As surely as she was in heaven, I would be in hell. That is, if I was even able to be in hell. Did you need a soul to be in hell? I did not know. I would find out soon enough, however.

I felt as if I was walking through a thick fog. I was dazed and I tried to keep from my mind what I knew was true. As soon as I discovered the manner of Bella's death I would fly to Italy. I tried not to think of this for I knew that as soon as I did Alice would see it.

That is, if she hadn't seen it already.

Currently, I was making my way through the hospital to the records room. I asked the woman there if she had records of Isabella Marie Swan, saying that I was working on a school project. I did not know if Bella would have stayed in Forks. Perhaps she fled to Florida with her mother as soon as I left. I just had to check her first. If she had not stayed here, I did not know where I would look next. She could have gone anywhere.

As I looked down at the young receptionist I remembered vaguely something I had asked Bella long ago.

_"Do I dazzle you?"_

The woman's thoughts reminded me of this for some strange and unknown reason. I had to control myself so that my face would not show my pain at the memory. She was thinking of how she shouldn't tell me anything, that I did not have the proper clearance to get such information. I gave her a blinding smile that I knew would not reach my eyes. It fooled her anyway.

"This is odd." she murmured.

And suddenly I felt as if I had been hit in the chest with a force great enough to break me in half.

_No, _I thought desperately as I saw what she was looking at on the screen in her mind. _No, no, no, no! _I fled the room, not knowing if I was going at human or vampire speed, not knowing if it was minutes, hours, days or weeks until I reached my destination.

Either way, I was here.

I was in the meadow.

_Our _meadow.

I broke down, unable to control myself any longer. If I was capable of crying, of shedding a tear, I knew that I would be unable to control the flood now. I was sobbing audibly and I was on my knees, not even realizing I had fallen. I gripped the earth in my fingers, crushing it in my fist.

Why hadn't Alice seen it? Surely she would have seen something. She couldn't have seen anything, I would have found out the last time I saw her! She wouldn't have been able to see this and _not _think about it. She loved Bella like a sister. No, Alice had seen nothing. But how? How could her vision have been so blinded? To think, I had been staying here, living this half-life for eighty years and for no reason.

Bella was gone. She died before I had been gone for a year.

She died mere months after I left.

How could I not know? How could I not realize? For what reason could there possibly be to even _exist _these past eighty years if she hadn't even been here?

Despair crashed over me, submerging me and I could not surface. I wondered vaguely if this is what I had put Bella through when I left. I hated myself even more. Could she possibly have felt this horrible? Could she have possibly felt this much pain? Had she felt the same hollowness in her chest, ripping with pain and threatening to destroy her?

Then an angel's voice reached out to me and I was sure that I was no longer on Earth. How could I be, when it was the same sweet and familiar voice that had haunted my every thought for eighty years? How could I still be on Earth and be hearing her voice?

Yet, I should not be hearing the angel's voice even if I was dead. How could I be in the presence of an angel when I had no soul?

"Edward?"

I looked up, the numbness of shock subduing the pain momentarily. I was still in the meadow yet Bella stood before me, mere yards away, very, _very _much alive.

"Bella..." I whispered painfully, rising to my feet and staring at her in shock.

She was staring at me with a look of mingled shock and fear and relief. Her skin was paler than I remembered and her hair longer. But she was the same. She was not any older. Her hair was still dark and her skin was still smooth. She was exactly the same.

At least, that's what I thought until I looked into her eyes. If vampires could have heart attacks, I knew that I would be having one at this very moment.

Her emotional gaze stared at me, her eyes golden.

Gold. Golden eyes.

Somehow, someway, Bella had become a vampire.

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**_A/N: Okay, there's Chapter One! Hope you enjoyed it! If not, oh well! This story is more for me than anyone else. I just figured I would put it up here. That doesn't by any means mean that I don't want reviews, though. Slam me with reviews, please! They make my day!_**

**_xoxoxo KT_**


	2. Two: Hallucinatory Experiences

_**A/N: I just want to say one thing about all of you readers. WOW! Thank you all so much! You guys are incredible! I had nineteen reviews mere hours after I posted the story! I wrote as quickly as I could to get this chapter up and I really hope you guys like it! And thanks bunches for catching my math mistake. As you can tell, I'm a writer, not a mathematician. I hope that it is spelled right. Anyway, thank you all so much for the wonderful reviews. You guys are amazing! I love you all! Anyway, here's chapter two! I hope that I did Bella as much justice as you guys think I did Edward! **_

_**Disclaimer: Twilight and its characters are not mine. No matter how much I might be like Bella.

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The Very Blackest Kind of Blasphemy

_**Chapter Two: Hallucinatory Experiences?**_

I couldn't move. I was frozen on the spot. Time seemed to stand still. He was crouched on the ground, despairing. _He wants... me? _I felt nothing but shock at the knowledge that suddenly hit me. Edward Cullen wanted me? How could he want me _now?_ Did he change his mind?

"Edward?" I managed to choke out, unable to believe my eyes. He looked up at me, his eyes dark with thirst. He looked as shocked as I felt.

"Bella..." he whispered in return, rising from the ground.

How could he be here?_ Why _was he here? He had said he didn't care. He had said he did not want me. Yet, I _knew _that he wanted me now. I knew, because of my gift, that Edward truly did want me. It didn't make sense to me. Why would he come back after so long and suddenly want me again? _It made no sense!_

Then I understood what was happening. It explained everything: why he was here in our meadow, why I knew he wanted me, why he was here, today of all days.

"Oh God," I whispered, throwing my hands over my eyes. "I'm hallucinating again!"

There was no way this could be real. No possible way. It was too coincidental. What were the odds that Edward would return to Forks today, the only day out of three hundred and sixty-five that I ever came back to this place? Where would it be possible in anywhere but my mind that Edward still wanted me despite what he said? That he still loved me despite what he said?

Some things didn't match up however. For one, I always had hallucinations when something bad happened or when I was doing something reckless. I was doing neither at the moment. Second, all my hallucinatory Edwards were always either angry at me for my recklessness or soothing in my pain. If this Edward was a hallucination, why was he in pain? Third, in my hallucinations my gift never told me what Edward wanted. Fourth, my hallucinatory Edwards always had golden eyes; they were never thirsty.

Despite these differences, I was still certain that I was hallucinating. It was just too good to be true. It felt like my dreams were being handed back to me on a silver platter.

I gasped quietly when his cold hands, no longer freezing against my equally icy skin, wrapped gently around my wrists. He pulled my hands from my face and his liquid onyx eyes bore into my own. My breath caught in my throat when I recognized his smoldering gaze that had a hint of shock and confusion in them.

"If anyone's hallucinating it's me." he whispered quietly, his angelic voice rough with pain. "Bella... is it really you?" One of his hands stayed enclosed around mine as the other came up to gently caress my cheek. Shock seemed to fill me as I suddenly knew he wanted to kiss me.

"Yes." I whispered, knowing I was having difficulty with coherency. "Is... is it really you? Are you really here?" I desperately wanted this to be real. Every moment that passed I became less and less sure that I was hallucinating. How could my subconscious come up with something as vivid as this? I am not _nearly _this imaginative. Slowly, I extricated my hands from his grasp. I lifted one hand to cup his cheek, stroking the skin there. My other hand entwined itself with his, trapping his hand in my grasp.

He nodded silently and I could see that he was choked up. _He wants to know what happened. He wants to know how I'm a vampire._ I suddenly knew.

"It was Laurent." I whispered, moving forward slightly and tucking my head under his chin, my forehead pressed against his icy skin. I let my hand slide from his face to his chest, gripping his shirt tightly. "I was searching for the meadow and... it was late... he came out of nowhere. He said that Victoria was after me, that she wanted to kill me. Laurent said that I should be happy he was the one who would kill me and not here. That it would be quick and less painful than what Victoria would do to me. He bit me and I know he was going to kill me, but... he got scared."

_"Scared?" _Edward asked incredulously, pain still in his voice. "Scared of what?"

"The La Push werewolves." I whispered, breathing in his scent. It was even sweeter than I remembered. "Some of the boys in La Push started... embracing their inner-wolf after you and your family returned. They chased him off and managed to kill him. They wanted to kill me too, when they saw I had been bitten but Jacob Black stopped them. He wouldn't let them kill me. He wouldn't speak to me again so I don't know why, but..." I trailed off. I could feel that Edward had tensed every one of his muscles and was shaking. I looked up at him and felt pain. His eyes were clenched shut and his face was screwed up in pain and guilt. He was in so much pain that I felt like someone was stabbing me. I ran my hand through his hair, trying to soothe him, and kissed his chin gently. "Don't blame yourself. Please. It's not your fault. It was stupid of me to go out in the woods alone."

"It's still my fault." he whispered, his angelic voice choked in pain. He opened his eyes and looked down at me, stroking my hair and my cheek. His eyes were full of so much hurt, so much pain that it looked as if he were about to fall apart. "I should have been here." he closed his eyes and pressed his forehead against mine, moving his hand from my face to the back of my neck, holding me to him. "I shouldn't... I never should have left, Bella. I'm sorry. I'm so, _so _sorry. I can't say it enough. I just... I didn't... I only wanted..." He trailed off, unable to continue.

And I knew. I knew that he only wanted me to be safe. I knew that he had only wanted me to be as happy as I possibly could. I knew that he had thought I could be happier without him. I knew that he had never wanted to hurt me. I knew that he had never wanted to actually leave. I knew that he had desperately wanted to return to me every second for the past eighty years. I knew that he had only ever wanted me, that he had only ever loved me.

I felt so complete with this knowledge, so whole. I no longer cared if this was real or a hallucination. I was with Edward and he wanted me. It didn't matter if it was only a result of my subconscious as long as I could stay here.

"I know, Edward." I whispered to him. "I understand."

He shook his head, his face still contorted in pain. "No, you can't know. I hurt you so much, Bella. I just..."

"Edward, look at me." I commanded of him quietly. His onyx eyes, filled to the brim with pain gazed at me. "I _do _know. You only wanted me to be safe. You just wanted me to be happy and thought I could be happier without you. I know that you didn't want to leave and that you wanted to come back... I know that you want me, Edward. Trust me, _I know."_

I could see that he was confused know. "But... how... How do you know that?"

I grinned at him softly. "You and your brother and sister aren't the only ones with gifts." I told him. Understanding filled his face and I knew he wanted to know what my gift was. "I know what people want. I can't explain it, I just... _know. _If I want to I can change what they want. I... I hate doing it, though. It feels all wrong."

Suddenly tension was in the air. I suddenly knew again that Edward wanted to kiss me. I grinned at him and wrapped my arms around my neck, pulling him against me. I felt a rush of pleasure that I was strong enough to hold him prisoner against me.

"Do you know what I want now?" he asked teasingly, the pain disappearing from his eyes for a moment. I felt myself tremble when he grinned at me crookedly. _God _did I love that smile.

"You want to kiss me." I told him quietly, trying to mask the way that he was turning me into mush in his very capable hands. Everything was silent for many moments and we just gazed in each other's eyes. Eventually I felt impatience that he wasn't moving. "Well?" I demanded obstinately, wanting to feel his lips against mine as much as he did.

He chuckled and I felt dizzy from the musical noise. His voice was like nothing else I had ever heard in my life. At a painfully slow pace, he moved closer to me. I could tell that he was teasing me and I moved my hands subtly to the back of his neck and brought his lips upon mine.

It felt like heaven, to be kissing Edward again. I felt myself trembling slightly in his arms and I was shocked by this. Vaguely, I knew that Edward wanted more and I could not disagree. His lips moved over mine like icy fire and I held myself to his body which seemed to fit against mine like a puzzle piece. I felt moaned as his tongue slipped out and traced my lips. I felt rather than heard the growl that resonated deep within his chest. _He wants-_

I jumped abruptly as something in Edward's pocket vibrated. He pulled away, swearing, his expression furious. He pulled out his phone and opened it, still holding me against him. I wondered vaguely who I had to kill for interrupting us.

"What is it, Alice?" he asked angrily. My desire for homicide faded away and I tried not to laugh, knowing that Edward wanted to do what my mind had just abandoned.

"You know what!" I could hear her exclaim impatiently. "Let me talk to her!"

Edward glared at the trees behind me, his eyes like dark fire. "Alice, do you have _any _idea-" I laughed then and took the phone from him.

"Hello, Alice." I greeted happily, positively gleeful that I was speaking to Alice again.

"Bella! I was right; I _did _see you in the meadow with Edward! How could I not see you become a vampire? It doesn't make any sense! I should have seen something like that coming! I'm so glad you're not dead, though. Well, technically speaking that is. Did Edward apologize for being such an idiot and leaving you? He's been a mess the past eighty years, don't let him fool you. Speaking of which, how have you been? What have you been doing? What-" Alice talked at top speed and I had to interrupt to get a word in.

"Alice, slow down!" I laughed, unable to stop smiling. "I can't answer any of your questions if you don't let me get a word in!"

"I'm sorry, Bella, it's just so good to see you again! Well, hear you right now. I saw you a few minutes ago but-" she exclaimed and continued at top speed.

"I know, Alice. It's good to hear you too." I answered. It felt like I was at home for the first time in eighty years. I was in Edward's arms and talking to Alice. I knew that Edward wanted me to hang up so we could continue our... previous activities. I also knew that he wanted to take me home, to Denali to see his family. At the moment, my life could not be more perfect.

"I'll see you soon, Bella! Don't be too slow, okay? I miss you!" I smiled softly at the pure excitement in her voice.

"Okay, see you soon, Alice. I miss you too." No sooner had I hung up the phone that Edward's lips claimed mine once more. The phone slipped from my fingers and I twisted my hands into his tousled auburn hair. I pressed myself as close to him as I could, gripping him to me. I clung to him tightly, kissing him greedily. I suddenly felt relief for the fact that vampires had no need to breathe. I could kiss Edward as long as I wanted and have no need to pull away.

Had I thought life couldn't be more perfect? I was wrong. _Dead _wrong. Edward slipped his hands down from my hair to caress my back, sliding down further to grip my waist and proceeding to my hips. I knew what he wanted and I knew that I wanted it just as much as he did.

Then he ripped away his lips from mine. I staggered slightly, something I had not done since I was human. I felt confusion. Why did Edward pull away? He still wanted me, so why did he pull away? I knew that he didn't want to pull away, but why _did _he?

"Edward, what...?" I trailed off, feeling off-balance. I clutched his shoulders so as to anchor myself. "What did you do that for?" I demanded, angry that he had pulled away. My angry vanished as he grinned at me crookedly, kissing my temple.

"Bella, now may not be the _best time _for that certain activity. I would not put it past Alice to call again if she saw we were not moving as quickly as she would like." he told me softly, his hand running through my hair. Slowly, he pulled me closer to him and buried his face in my hair, inhaling deeply. "You still smell _so good." _he whispered and I felt confusion. I had thought it was the scent of my blood that had smelled so heavenly to him.

"What?"

He must have understood my confusion because he answered my unspoken question. "Your blood called to me, Bella, but it wasn't just your blood that smelled heavenly." He pulled away slightly and grasped my hand in his. "Come on, we better not keep Alice waiting."

I smiled at him. "No, we wouldn't want that." Before he could turn away, I claimed his lips for the smallest moment and pulled away. I grinned at his expression before pulling him along after me so we could locate a car to get us to Denali.

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**_A/N: Thanks for reading guys! If you could review, I would be thankful but if not I understand! I'll try to get the next chapter up as soon as I can. Oh, and I just want to let everyone know that this won't be a very long fanfiction. Maybe two or three more chapters depending on how it goes. Thanks for reading!_**

**_xoxoxo KT_**


	3. Three: Homecoming

**_A/N: Okay, here's Chapter Three! The first half is in Alice's POV which becomes apparent and the second is in Edward's again. I really hope you guys enjoy this chapter! The reason this came out so quickly (at least for my standards) is because of the amazing reviews you all gave me! Thanks so much guys! I love you all so much! I would love feedback on what you thought of this chapter. It didn't come to me as easily as the first two. And I am happy to say that this is not the end! I got hit with inspiration and an actual plotline is going to appear! I don't want to give anything away, but let's just say that after this chapter Bella's abilities are going to be tested further than she's ever tested them before. Oh, and the inspiration for the humour at the end of this chapter stems completely from the fact that I've been reading the fics of _My-Bella _all day. There are more than a few humorous instances in her fics. In fact, at this very moment I am giggling like mad over _Sin City Sinners. _Go read her stories! They're great! Anyway, here's Chapter Three! Hope you enjoy!_**

**_DISCLAIMER: Two words. FAN FICTION. That's all I'm going to say.

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_The Very Blackest Kind of Blasphemy_

_**Chapter Three: Homecoming**_

I knew that everyone was wondering why exactly I was so energetic. I could barely contain my joy. Jasper especially was having difficulty with my boundless enthusiasm that I was positive was coming off of me in waves. I knew that they all were wondering why I had returned from hunting so early. I had said I would be away for the weekend. It had been a while since I had gone hunting. For the past month I had been constantly keeping my eye on Edward. I knew that he was planning to return to Forks soon. I knew that he wanted to find out what happened to Bella. I knew that as soon as he knew he was planning to go to Italy. I had told Jasper and Carlisle this, knowing that if I told Emmett, Rosalie, and Esme certain things would happen.

Emmett would run off to find Edward and hold him down so that he couldn't leave. Rosalie would try to stop him from going to Italy by talking him out of it and making things worse. Esme would be a disaster. Esme loved all of us but she had a special soft spot for Edward. So I kept it between Jasper, Carlisle, and I and kept a close eye on my brother so that I could intercept him before he left for Italy.

After Edward left Bella he didn't stay very often. He was in so much pain and couldn't stand hearing us worry over him. Without Edward life took a decidedly somber turn. Everything was so much quieter without hearing the sound of the piano playing constantly. In fact, it had been eighty years since I had heard Edward play. He had adamantly refused to even _touch _a piano after he left Bella. It had hurt all of us to see how much pain Edward was in. When Edward was like Bella it was like he was a different person. He was happy and didn't worry as much as he used to. Of course, he worried about her entirely too much but that's just who Edward _is. _He always needs _something _to worry about. After he left her he was even worse than before. I would have visions of him just outside of Forks despairing and very near to seeing Bella again. Then he would turn around and leave to despair in solitude.

I was beyond ecstatic and just a tad bit confused when I had a vision of Edward in Forks. He was in the meadow and kissing Bella. An assuredly non-human Bella. I had made the decision to interrupt them because I could see that it would take them twice as long to get home if I didn't. It had been such a relief to hear Bella's voice again. _Finally _life could return to normalcy! Well, as normal as life is for a family of vampires. With Edward back and not despairing and Bella by his side our family could finally be a family again.

I _was_ slightly disturbed by the fact that I had not seen Bella becoming a vampire. Even though Edward had forbidden me to look at Bella's future I should have seen something like that. Something that monumental, that dangerous, I should have seen whether I was looking for it or not. I chose to push away these slightly disconcerting thoughts, seeing that Edward and Bella were mere minutes away. I had made the choice not to inform the rest of my family of Edward's and Bella's return because I saw that their reactions were something that would truly touch Bella. That and they would just be _too good _to pass up.

"Alice," Jasper asked quietly, hearing Edward's car getting closer. "Who's coming?" I chose not to answer him, smiling and brushing my hand through his hair as I danced my way to the door, bouncing in place when I was on the porch. Jasper followed me outside, Esme, Carlisle, Emmett, and Rosalie not far behind. When Edward's car came into view I could hear Esme's gasp and Rose's sigh of relief. I looked up at Jasper who had a look of confusion on his face. I'm sure that he was puzzled by the emotions that were sure to be flowing from the car. I was beside the passenger door of the car before Edward even had a chance to put it in park. As soon as Bella was out of the car I threw my arms around her, enveloping her in a hug.

"Alice!" she exclaimed, returning the hug. "It's so good to see you again." she whispered, her voice thick with emotion. I released her, smiling as I went over to Edward. I looked up at him and he grinned down at me lopsidedly. I glared at him and smacked him over the head. He growled slightly and I could tell that he was trying to figure out why I had hit him.

_That's for thinking about going to Italy, you imbecile! _I thought angrily. I was happy to see that he looked sheepish and shocked to see that Bella was looking at him incredulously. After a moment, her eyes narrowed and she glared at him angrily.

"You were thinking about going to _Italy?" _she hissed at him, low enough that even I could barely hear her.

_How did she know that, Edward?_ I asked him through my thoughts. He gave me a look that clearly said, "Later." Then he gave Bella the same look and she glared at him for a moment before turning to look at the rest of the family who stood with their eyes wide. Esme was the first to move.

"Bella," she whispered, moving forward and enveloping Bella in a motherly hug. "Dearest Bella, you have no idea how good it is to see you again." Esme whispered to her as Bella hugged her back. I could tell that both would be crying if they were capable of forming tears.

"It's good to see you too, Esme." Bella managed to choke out. I could tell that something was going on that I did not know about. Something that would alert Bella to just how much she had been missed. Jasper was suddenly behind me and when Esme released Bella he touched her shoulder gently and smiled down at her silently. Emmett and Carlisle were the next to move. Emmett, of course, picked Bella up, laughing and smiling jovially as he swung her around. The corner of Edward's mouth quirked upwards as he watched Bella laugh wildly, trying to struggle out of Emmett's iron grip. Carlisle, like Jasper, didn't say anything but grasped Bella's hand in his as soon as Emmett had released her, a gracious smile on his face. Bella smiled back and wrapped her arms around him. None of us were prepared for Rose's reaction.

Rosalie moved forward, pushing past Emmett. She and Bella simply looked at each other for a few moments before Rose's face acquired a hitherto unseen smile. It was small and full of emotion and I could not help but smile as I watched the scene unfold. Rose brushed her hand through Bella's hair before she grasped both of her hands in hers.

"Thank you." she said quietly. "Thank you."

The confusion was apparent on Bella's face. "Your... welcome?" she asked in confusion. "What... am I being thanked for?" she asked cautiously.

"Thank you for bringing him home." Rose said. "Thank you for coming back to us." I could feel shock flood me as my vision unfolded before me. I did not think that Rosalie would actually say these things. It was so out of character for her. Yes, she loved our family and has wanted Edward to return home for the longest time but she had never particularly liked Bella. I felt as if I were in an alternate reality as I watched Rosalie be so... un-Rosalie. "Welcome home." she said softly.

I could see that Bella was struggling. She didn't know what to say in response to Rosalie's change of heart. She settled on an emotional whisper. "Thank you."

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It felt better than I thought it would to finally be home. I had not been with my family for a long time, unable to stand their piteous thoughts. It made the pain too pronounced, to hear them think about how horrible I was without Bella. I hadn't realized just how much I missed their presence until I had Bella in my arms once more. My longing for Bella had drowned out any other yearning I had. Now that I had Bella in my arms and was sitting in the living room surrounded by my entire family I felt... _whole. _Complete. A feeling that I had been without for far too long. 

I was happy that Alice had not informed the rest of the family about Bella and my return. Their reactions and thoughts were quite... informative. I hadn't realized how much Bella meant to the rest of my family. I had no only hurt her by leaving, I had hurt them too. That had brought about a whole new wave of guilt.

Carlisle, Jasper, and Emmett had all had quite similar reactions. Carlisle had been thankful that Bella was back so I could be myself again. Emmett had been happy to see her so that he could be amused by her. Actually, his exact thought had been, _I hope she's still as amusing as when she was human! _Normally it may have bothered me but it was just so _Emmett _that I couldn't complain. Jasper had been happy that he wouldn't have to feel pain anymore. I knew that it was hard for him to be around me because he had felt my pain, my incompleteness. I was glad that he would no longer have to feel that. That _I _would no longer have to feel that.

Alice's thoughts had been all over the place. She had been thinking about how great it was to finally see Bella and how I wouldn't have a chance to be miserable anymore. As she was thinking this she was also planning on kidnapping Bella to drag her on a shopping trip. Then she had hit me and reprimanded me for planning to go to the Volturi. I wondered vaguely what the limits were on Bella's gift. Could she only know what he currently wanted? Could she know everything we've ever wanted? Could she know what we wanted, both past and present, if only we were thinking about it? I would have to make a note to ask her.

Esme's thoughts had been exactly what I expected. She had rushed to Bella and hugged her, thinking about how her family was finally whole again. Judging from Bella's reaction, she knew that Esme had wanted both of us home.

I could not have predicted Rosalie's reaction if I had tried.

Rosalie's thought process had always confused me. She is a vain person and I could not understand her even if I tried. When she saw Bella her thoughts had been as thankful as Esme's. She was just as happy to see Bella as _Esme._ I had been beyond shocked. We all had, Bella most of all.

Yet, these thoughts all left my mind when we finally were in the living room. I sat on one end of the couch, pulling Bella down next to me and wrapping my arm around her shoulders. She smiled up at me and wrapped her arm around my waist, curling into my side comfortably. I used the arm that I had wrapped around her to play with her still sweet-smelling hair. Alice alighted onto the couch next to Bella and Emmett settled into the armchair, Rose perching on the arm of it. Jasper leaned against the fireplace and Carlisle settled onto the loveseat with Esme. Ever single member of my family had the same strand of thought. They wanted to hear Bella's story.

With no further prompting, Bella explained how she became a vampire. She explained about how Laurent had come at Victoria's request and how he had been thirsty. She explained how the werewolves of La Push chased Laurent away. Then she explained something she had neglected to tell me.

"A few years later Victoria found me." she said quietly. I stiffened and felt anger and guilt bubble up within me. Before I had a chance to express my alarm, she continued. "Luckily I knew what she wanted before I even knew she was there. I led her back to Forks, knowing that the werewolves wouldn't be able to resist going after her and knowing I couldn't fight her alone. There were so many of them she didn't stand a chance. She couldn't escape."

"What do you mean about knowing what she wanted before you knew she was there?" Jasper asked, voicing the question that was in everyone's mind.

"Bella knows what people want." I explained.

Bella nodded in agreement. "I can make them want different things, too." she clarified. "It's complicated, though. I know what they currently want whether they think about it or not but I can only know what they wanted in the past if they're thinking about it. I also have to be close. I'm not quite sure _how _close because I've never tested how far I can reach."

I was happy that I finally understood Bella's gift. It explained how she knew I was going to go to Italy and how she knew I was repentant about leaving her. Following her explanation, no one spoke despite their mind's running at full speed. I heard Rosalie's thought only a second before she asked the question and a soft growl erupted from my chest. Rosalie ignored it and continued.

"Bella, why didn't you look for us? What have you been doing the past eighty years?"

I stiffened but Bella slipped her free hand into mine. I looked down at her, feeling wary, and saw that her face was bearing the expression that had always accompanied a blush.

"I didn't know if I would be wanted." she said, shame in her voice. This confused me. Why was Bella ashamed? What possible reason did Bella have for being ashamed? "I know differently now." she turned to look up at me, smiling widely. I could not help but return it and also unable to resist leaning down and pressing my lips to hers. She smiled against my lips and kissed me back before pulling away and speaking again. "I haven't done much, though. I've roamed around a lot. I went to high school and college a couple times for something to do, but nothing monumental."

I heard Emmett's thought and started to growl. I tightened my arm around Bella and glared at my brother. Before I could even warn him not to say anything, Bella shocked us all.

"You want to know how many times I lost control, Emmett?" she asked, a smile on her face. She laughed at the incredulous look on his face and said, "Weren't you listening? I know what you want, Emmett! And when exactly did you and Jasper bet on me?" Another growl erupted from me but Bella tightened her grip on my hand. "Stop being so over-protective, Edward!" she scolded me before turning back to Emmett.

"Alice had a vision that you would be one of us, Bella, before we even met you." Jasper explained. "Emmett and I like to gamble too much. We shouldn't have bet on you like that. We're sorry." I knew that Jasper was apologizing more to me than to Bella. I nodded simply, seeing that it did not bother Bella.

"It's fine." she said forgivingly, a smile gracing her perfect face. "And to settle the bet, because Emmett still wants to know if he beat you or not, the answer is I didn't lose control. Not enough to hurt anyone, in any case."

We were all shocked beyond words. The only newborns we had ever encountered that could resist human blood on their own were Carlisle and Alice. The only reason Alice had been able to was because she had seen what would happen in advance. We were shocked speechless that Bella, who like Alice had no one after becoming a vampire, would be able to resist giving into her bloodlust.

"How?" I asked her quietly, the shock that everyone felt apparent in my voice. Bella gazed up at me, a smile gracing her delicate face. She pressed her lips against my shoulder and her eyes sparkled up at me mind-numbingly.

"Whenever I would get close to losing control I would hear your voice in my head, telling me to stop." As she spoke, her smile morphed from radiant to sheepish, a smile that I recognized even after eighty years. Ignoring the thoughts of my family, forgetting they were even _there_, I freed my hand from Bella's, reaching up to brush her cheek gently.

"So that's why you thought you were hallucinating in the meadow." I whispered. Bella nodded, still smiling softly. She mirrored me and reached up to brush my cheek, her hand gradually migrating up into my hair. I closed my eyes and relished in the sensation. I had never been able to resist Bella when she started putting her hands in my hair. It had pushed my precarious hold on self-control to the limit.

"I heard you before Laurent bit me, too, and when I was changing." she paused for a moment before continuing and I opened my eyes to gaze down at her. "It made things better, somehow. It felt like you were there with me, trying to help me like always." As she told me this, waves of emotion crashed over me.

Bella heard me when she was in pain.

Hearing me when she was in pain made things _better._

I futilely tried to wrap my mind around this concept. What could I have done to earn such an angel? I knew the answer to my rhetorical question, however. I had done absolutely nothing to deserve her. Before I met Bella I was nothing. I was nothing more than a monster. I met Bella and I got better but then I proved how much of a despicable creature I was by leaving her. I wanted to know desperately why I was given such a gift. I didn't deserve Bella. She could do so much better than me, yet she didn't want that. For some unknown reason _she wanted me._ I desperately wanted to know what had ever possessed Bella to love me.

I heard Jasper groan before he shot a thought at me. _Edward! Stop with the self-deprecation! It's driving me insane!_ I nodded slightly toward him, trying not to alert Bella.

Unfortunately for me, she must have caught some strain of my thoughts. She looked at me both gently and sharply. I wondered how she was able to do it. "Stop that, Edward Cullen. You over-think things too much. Love knows no reason. Stop trying to analyze it." I couldn't help but smile at her stern tone. I felt my mouth slide into the crooked grin that Bella loved so much. I tried not to laugh as the sharp undertone in her eyes faded and she smiled sweetly at me. She slid her hand to the back of my neck, pulling me down to kiss me.

_Ugh! You think they would get a room! _I heard Emmett think as he watched our display of affection. I chuckled slightly and felt Bella do the same. She must have known that Emmett wanted us to stop. She pulled back and smiled at him mischievously and I couldn't help but feel just a twinge of fear at what she was planning. Bella could be diabolical if she really wanted to.

What happened next was something none of us could have expected.

Emmett stood up from his chair and started to dance.

He started dancing a grotesque imitation of _ballet._

None of us could reign in our laughter when we realized what Bella had done. I pulled her close and kissed her deeply, trying to control my laughter. This was quite lucky for Emmett because as soon as my lips touched hers, Bella's concentration broke and Emmett no longer had the strange desire to be a ballerina. I could tell that he wanted to be angry, but he could not help but join in the laughter. He was always playing practical jokes on the rest of us, so he was able to appreciate them.

As I sat with my family in the living room, I had an epiphany of sorts. I realized that this was exactly what I had always wanted. All I had ever wanted was Bella by my side and my family, including Bella, to be happy. Looking down at her, I could see that she was nothing _but _happy. I felt unbridled joy realizing that my family and I were the ones that were making Bella this happy. I tightened my arms around Bella and she looked up at me, her eyes alight with laughter and a smile on her face. I bent my head and kissed her gently, knowing that she knew I wanted nothing more but her happiness.

* * *

**_A/N: Please review! I just want to take a minute to thank everyone who has either reviewed, added this to their favourites and/or story alert, or added _me _to their favourites and/or author alert. Thank you one and all! You have no idea how much that makes my day! You guys are the best readers any writer could want! _**

**_EDIT: Just so there's no confusion, what is written is that Bella is the only _newborn _that has resisted human blood without outside help, other than Alice and Carlisle of course. Everyone other than these three had someone there to help them stick to their diet if they needed said help. Just wanted to make it clear! _**

**_xoxoxo KT_**


	4. Four: Vision

**_A/N: First off, I really want to apologize for how long it took to get this chapter out! I really didn't think it would take me this long! I had a horrible case of writer's block for about a week and had to reread _New Moon _to get my inspiration back. I just want to thank you all for sticking with this story and with me!_**

**_Oh, and if you're looking for a good, completed B/E fic to read, go read _vjgm's Boycotts and BarFlies._ It is simply amazing and was just completed! So, here it is! Chapter four!_ **

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__The Very Blackest Kind of Blasphemy_

_**Chapter Four: Vision**_

I sighed in contentment as the beautiful notes of Edward's newest composition flooded the spacious room. I stood behind Edward as his hands flew across the keys, just as graceful as I remembered. I let my hands rest on his shoulders and a small smile alight on my face. It had been far too long since I could truly enjoy music. After Edward left I had wanted absolutely nothing to do with anything musical. Every note in any song would bring the image that was before me now, his hands flying across the ivory keys. As I lost myself in Edward's music, I remembered a portion of our drive from Forks to the house we now were in, close to the coven in Denali.

00000000

I tried to control myself as the different things Edward wanted washed over me as every second passed. I wondered vaguely how one person could want so much in a single moment. _He wants information. He wants to get home. He wants to play a piano. He wants to be close to me. He wants to hurt Alice for interrupting us. He wants me. He wants to hurt himself for leaving me._ It was so overwhelming I had to force myself to breathe deeply in order to control myself. The scenery flew by as Edward's car raced towards Denali.

"What are you thinking?" Edward's voice abruptly pulled me from my ponderings.

"You want a lot of things right now." I said simply, smiling at him. "Why do you want to play a piano?"

Edward chuckled and I knew it was going to take him some getting used to my gift. "I haven't played one in a while." he answered evasively. I could see that he was hiding something from me, that he wasn't telling me the whole truth.

"How long has it been?" I asked. He sighed and avoided my eyes and I knew that he didn't want to tell me. "Why don't you want to tell me?"

He kept his eyes focused on the road and my eyes grazed over his face. "Because I have a feeling you won't react well."

I forced a small smile onto my face and said as calmly as I could, "Tell me."

He sighed heavily again and glanced at me before speaking. His dark eyes were hesitant and full of pain. "I haven't played a piano since I left, Bella."

I stared at him incredulously. Why wouldn't he play a piano? He _loved _the piano. "Why not?"

He turned to grin at me but his eyes were still full of pain. He brushed his hand across my cheek, staring into my eyes. "I left my inspiration. I left my reason to want to play." I could not prevent the smile upon my face at this confession.

"Why do you want to play one now?" I asked inquisitively.

He smiled at me again and I bit my lip, a human trait that had never left me. "I have a new composition I want to work on."

"What kind of composition?" I asked a small smirk on my face. He smiled blindingly at me and the smirk changed into a small coy smile.

"I'll give you a guess." he told me with a smile. "It's inspired by the gorgeous woman I was just reunited with who loves me despite everything." I smiled widely and grasped his hand in mine, squeezing tightly.

* * *

As I pulled myself from my memories, I became aware that Edward and I were no longer alone. I turn unnecessarily to see that Alice was standing in the doorway, a mischievous smile on her face. I suppressed a groan as I realized what she wanted. I had absolutely no desire to go shopping. I wanted to stay and listen to Edward play the piano. Edward's music was heavenly and captured the absolute essence of whoever the composition was based on. Alice moved forward to stand next to me as Edward finished the song.

"That's perfect, Edward!" she exclaimed. "It's just like Bella!"

I smiled and leaned down to kiss his temple. "Thank you. It's beautiful." He smiled in contentment and I knew that a similar smile was gracing my own face.

"Play some of mine, Edward!" Alice demanded. Edward laughed and poised his hands over the keys again. He began to play a rapidly changing piece, the notes all high and fast and abundantly cheerful. I smiled widely as I could see Alice in the very notes.

"You're amazing." I complimented him highly, incredulity and admiration in my voice. He grinned and kissed my hand which still rested on his shoulder. I sighed heavily and turned to Alice. "_Must _I go shopping with you, Alice?"

Her smile broadened and she giggled. "Silly Bella! Don't tell me you still hate shopping?"

It was my turn to smile. "You know I do, Alice."

"Well, you need more clothing! Proper clothing!" I didn't even want to think about what Alice's idea of "proper clothing" was. "Please, Bella! Come shopping with Rose and me! We need some girl time! Besides, Edward needs to hunt and he won't go if you don't have something to do." I sighed, knowing that she was right.

"All right, Alice. I'll come." I conceded in defeat. She squealed in delight and raced from the room to go fetch Rosalie.

"You don't have to go." Edward told me, rising from the piano bench and pulling me into his arms. I stared up into his dark eyes. "I can hunt later."

"It's okay. She'll get me to go with her eventually. She plays the guilt trip too well. Go hunt. I might just have fun." I teased gently. He laughed and kissed me lightly.

"I'll be back later." he whispered as I inhaled his sweet scent.

"You better." I teased. He smiled softly and his lips met mine in a mind-numbingly amazing kiss. How could I have survived for so long without this? Without him? How could we have spent so long away from each other and still be able to act like this? To still be completely and utterly in love with the other, even more so than before we were separated?

I would have let the kiss go on longer, but Alice dragged me away. "Come on, Bella! It's fine, Edward can survive without you for a few hours and you can too!"

I simply sighed and told Edward as I left with Alice and Rosalie, "I love you."

"I love you too." he said softly, his dark eyes smoldering back at me. Had Alice not been tugging on my arm then I would have been incapable of moving.

Alice dragged Rosalie and I through store after store to get me what seemed to be a whole new wardrobe. Rose seemed to enjoy it and it was more than a little disconcerting to be speaking to Rosalie civilly. It was awkward for both of us, because it was so new, but I was certain of one fact: Rosalie wanted to make amends for how she had treated me when I was human. I wanted to give her that chance. So we both tried our hardest. It became easier as the day went on. The day went on and true to my word I actually did enjoy myself despite the fact that we were shopping.

Rose and I were browsing through a rack of clothes as Alice flitted around the store only slightly faster than human speed to get clothes for me to try on. That's when it happened. Rose and I both turned toward Alice when we heard her gasp. She had a blank look on her face and was staring blindly at the wall. We rushed over to her and after a moment, a look of horror and pain crossed her face. She staggered, something I had never seen any of the Cullens do, and I instinctively wrapped my arm around her to hold her up.

"Alice? Are you okay?" I questioned quietly, too low for humans to hear.

"What did you see?" Rosalie asked anxiously.

Alice closed her eyes and leaned on me heavily. I could tell that her vision had shaken her badly. _She wants... She wants to keep everyone safe. She doesn't want them to be hurt. She doesn't want them to be... killed. _

"Alice... who don't you want to be killed?" I asked, still too quiet for humans to hear. She opened her eyes and looked at me, her eyes wide. She closed her eyes again and I knew that something was terribly, horribly wrong. I turned to Rosalie. "Rose, can you go get the car? We need to get home." Rosalie nodded, still staring at Alice with worry. I led Alice out of the store as Rose went to get the car. There was a bench outside of the store and I sat down on it, pulling Alice with me. I kept my arm around my sister's shoulders and she leaned into me, her head resting on my shoulder. I rubbed her shoulder and held her close to me, knowing she needed comfort. Alice's Porsche then came to a screeching halt in front of us. Pulling Alice along with me, I opened the back door and slipped into the back seat. After Alice slithered in next to me I reached across her and closed the door. As Rose sped away from the curb, Alice rested her elbows on her knees and let her face rest in her hands.

"Alice, what did you see?" I asked her softly, rubbing my hand over her back, hoping to soothe her.

"The Volturi." she said quietly, painfully. "They're coming. They heard about you, Bella. They want you to join them. They want us all to join them, but you... they could do anything if you joined them. You try to stop them but... but it's too much. They try to be... forceful and Edward... they... they fight us all. They... they kill Edward... before we can react..." I froze in shock. The fissure in my chest rippled. It was a pain that I had not felt in a long time. After I became a vampire I knew it was only a matter of time before Edward and I ran into each other again. That eased the pain a bit. The wound in my chest had not burned me like this since I was human. "Then they just... pick us off... there are too many..." I knew that if Alice could cry she would be now. I pushed away my pain and pulled Alice to me, hugging her tightly. I couldn't imagine how horrible it was for her, to have to have seen what she had. To have to see her whole family, her whole life, being killed right in front of her eyes. And to know that there was a possibility that it would happen? To know that there was a possibility that she would have to watch it all over again? I couldn't imagine what Alice was going through.

"It's okay, Alice." I whispered to her. "It's okay. It might not happen. We know now, and we can find a way to stop it from happening. It's going to be okay." Alice merely clutched me more tightly and remained silent. Within minutes, we were home. Esme was outside when she heard the car arrive and was by our side in a flash when she saw Alice.

"What happened?" she questioned anxiously.

"Is Edward here? Jasper?" I asked, knowing that Edward needed to see Alice's vision and that Jasper needed to be with Alice. She needed him more than anything right now, and more for just than his ability to calm her.

"They're still hunting." she told me softly, trying to see what was wrong with Alice. "Emmett and Carlisle are with them too. What happened?"

"She had a vision." I told her as I pulled Alice toward the house. I pulled her toward the living room and sat down on the couch beside her. I leaned against the arm of it and pulled Alice to lean against me. She wrapped her arms around my waist and held herself to me, needing someone to hold onto.

"What happened?" Esme asked. I turned to look at Rosalie and she nodded, understanding. The last thing Alice needed was to have to explain her vision or hear someone else explaining it again. To prevent Rose's and Esme's conversation from reaching Alice's sensitive ears, I sang to her like Edward always did when I was upset. It always calmed me, why shouldn't it help Alice? I was happy when a few minutes later my sister was somewhat more relaxed. I didn't know how much time passed after that, but just after the sun had set I could smell Edward's scent growing closer. I was a little surprised to find that it was his scent alone, unaccompanied by the rest of the men. I waited in quiet anticipation, needing to see Edward. Alice's words had opened up the fissure in my chest and I knew it would remain there until I saw him, safe and whole, once more.

Suddenly, Edward was in the room with us, grinning lopsidedly at me. Obviously he had rushed home to see me more quickly. Then his senses caught up with him. I could tell by the look on his face that he was seeing Alice's vision through her mind. After a moment, he was on Alice's other side, wrapping his arms around her. She released me slightly and leaned against Edward. I wasn't upset; I knew Alice needed Edward's comfort. He was the only person who could understand the pain and horror that she felt right now. He was the only person who could see what she had seen. I kept my arm wrapped around Alice's waist, knowing that Jasper was close and then Alice would get better.

_Edward wants to break something._ I knew Edward well enough to know what brought on this violent desire. He was angry that the Volturi would come and do this. He was angry they would take me away. He was angry that they would hurt Alice so much. Actually, I'm not sure if a word as small as _anger _would cover the explosive feelings that Edward was most likely having at the moment. It was probably closer to a ferocious rage.

"Alice!"

Jasper had finally arrived. He pulled Alice from the couch and cradled her against him. I could feel the errant waves of calm that were flowing from him as he tried to calm Alice down. Before I could have another thought, I was in Edward's arms. He held me against him tightly, more tightly than he ever had before, and buried his face in my hair. I returned the embrace just as tightly and hid my face in his chest. The fissure that had burned me was gone. It was as if it had never been there.

I knew that Carlisle and Emmett had arrived because I knew that they wanted to know what was going on. Jasper had managed to finally calm Alice down and she sat on his lap with her eyes closed. I tightened my hold on Edward as I heard Rosalie and Esme start to explain to Emmett and Carlisle. I didn't want to hear the tale again. I did not want to hear that Edward would die again. I couldn't lose him. Not again. Edward seemed to know what I wanted somehow. He started to hum my lullaby softly and I felt soothed. I focused on his musical voice and ignored Esme and Rosalie's whispers. As the rest of the family joined us, I sat up straighter. I still stayed in Edward's arms because I felt safe and I knew that I would need the comfort.

All was quiet. No one seemed to want to break the silence. Finally, Emmett grew impatient. "So what are we going to do?" Emmett's voice was subdued in a way I had never heard it be before. It shocked me.

"We can prevent this." Jasper said confidently. "It doesn't have to happen. What Alice saw is just one way it could turn out."

"He's right." Edward said.

"What can we actually _do _to prevent it, though?" Rosalie asked, desperation in her voice.

Edward turned to me and I could see the same desperation in his golden eyes. "Bella, in Alice's vision you couldn't change _all _of their minds but... would you be able to change Aro's mind or Jane's or Demetri's as soon as they thought about taking you?"

I swallowed the lump in my throat before speaking. "I _think _so. Three people aren't that many. I just... I've never had to use my talent like this before. I don't know how effective it will be, trying to change three minds so drastically at once." I didn't want the survival of my family to rest upon my untested and therefore unreliable talent. If it didn't work, if I couldn't change the minds of Aro and Jane and Demetri, whoever they may be, I would not be able to live with myself. How could I, when my family's demise would be my fault?

"Would it help, Bella, if I made them feel more inclined to change?" Jasper asked me, able to feel my panic and worry.

I nodded. "Yes, I think it would, Jasper. It might also help if I knew more about Aro, Jane, and Demetri."

I listened in silence as Edward and Carlisle explained what the three Volturi were like. They told me about Aro and how he wanted vampires with talents desperately. They told me of his talent and of Jane's and Demetri's talent. They told me everything they knew about them. I was more than a little frightened of Jane's ability. She could easily incapacitate every single one of us. She could start torturing any one of us to get the rest to be complacent.

When they finished, I nodded distractedly. "I'm still not sure how well I'll be able to change their minds. Especially if I have to change Jane's mind about wanting to torture us every other minute. I just... I don't know if it will be too much or not. I've never had to do this much before. I've never had to test my talent like this before."

Edward kissed my forehead gently and held me tighter. "You'll do fine, Bella, just do your best." I tried to find solace in his comfort but could not. What if my failure became the catalyst for Alice's vision?

I could see Jasper frowning out of the corner of my eye and knew that he could feel my distress. "Bella, would it help you feel better if you tested your limitations on Edward, Emmett, and I?"

"No!" I exclaimed. I shook my head vigorously and tried to dissuade the three from the idea. I couldn't test this on them. I couldn't do that to them. "No, no..."

"Why not?" Edward asked me quietly. "Bella, if you don't think you can do this we need to know before they come. We're giving you permission to change our minds, love. There isn't anything wrong with that." I could feel my resolve begin to falter as Edward breathed in my ear. Damn it all, why was Edward so good at persuasion? I didn't want to use my talent on Edward or Emmett or Jasper. I _couldn't _do that. The thought of change Edward in any way made my mind reel. They didn't understand! What I had to Emmett was nothing, _nothing, _compared to what I would have to do the Volturi, to what Edward wanted me to do to _him._

I was going to be changing the minds of the Volturi _permanently. _Once I changed their minds, there was no going back. They would never be able to consciously make the choice to pursue that course of action again.

"Edward, you don't understand." I told him, looking up at him and knowing that there was desperation in my eyes. "It's not that I don't think I can change their minds, I know that I can, but I'll be changing their minds _permanently._ Once I do that they won't be able to ever _want _us to join them again. I've only had to do that once before. _Once!_ I have no idea if I _can _change their minds that way. If you think I'm going to test the fact that I can completely dispose of free will on you or Emmett or Jasper, you are _insane!"_ I told him seriously, my eyes hard. I knew that everyone was just as stunned as Edward. I closed my eyes and leaned forward, pressing my forehead against Edward's chest. He tightened his arms around me once more and pressed his cheek against my hair, humming softly and trying to soothe me.

"It'll be okay, Bella." he whispered, his velvet voice comforting. "Everything will be okay, I promise. It will all work out. Trust me."

I felt a wave of calm wash over me and knew that Jasper was trying to help me. I appreciated the gesture but didn't _want_ to be calm. I needed to feel the panic so I could sort through my thoughts. The false sense of calm was clouding my mind. Jasper seemed to understand my dilemma and backed off slightly. He still gave me a bit of the serenity, enough so I was not breaking down.

After Edward and I were reunited I thought that everything would be better. Why did danger have to come at every turn? Hadn't we been through enough? Couldn't we be able to live in peace? Was that so much to ask, considering what we had already been forced to live through?

I knew what Carlisle wanted to know before he asked me. I had a feeling that he was asking me out of courtesy for the rest of the family, like he did when speaking with Edward, so they could know what we were speaking about. "Bella, do you know why you have this talent?"

I remained silent for a few moments, needed to think. I had spent the better part of the past eighty years contemplating this very question and still had no idea. "I don't know. I can't seem to come to an answer. I mean, I was never very good at knowing what people wanted when it came in regard to me. I guess I was perceptive enough to understand what people wanted, but only if that desire wasn't directed at me."

Edward chuckled. "Bella, love, you were only ever unsure of what people wanted when it came to people wanting _you."_ I couldn't say anything, because I knew it was true.

Carlisle nodded. "That sounds reasonable enough. I also think it may have something to do with the fact that you wanted things that no human has ever wanted before and you wanted them more than any other human could ever want anything. You were quite... resolute in your desires, Bella. I think that may be a part of it too."

I contemplated this for a moment and nodded. "What will happen if I can't change their minds?" I asked quietly, unsure and scared. Edward's arm tightened around me and I could tell that he was trying to resist the urge to break something.

"We will stay calm and stall them until we can come up with a better plan." Carlisle answered. "Bella, you do not need to worry. If you cannot change their minds permanently, all will not be lost."

I nodded but couldn't bring myself to completely believe him. I could tell that Edward took this to be the end of the conversation and he stood, pulling me up with him. He led me from the living room and took me upstairs to his room, to _our _room. I knew that Edward wanted to be alone with me, but I did not know why. I had a feeling that I would find out very soon, however.

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**_A/N: Thanks for reading! I would really love to get some reviews along with the story/author alerts and faves! Although I appreciate those too. Constructive criticism is welcome! Actually... I'm begging for constructive criticism! Please! Help me make this better!_**

**_xoxo Jaciira_**


	5. Five: Admissions and Arrivals

_**A/N: Okay, so I have two things to apologize for. First off I want to apologize for how long this update took and second I need to apologize for how incredibly short the update is. I really wanted to add more to the chapter, but I wanted even more to actually get another chapter out. Things have been really hectic for me lately. Anyway, I also have another important question for you guys, my readers.**_

**_Would you like me to finish this story before I put out a new, AU and human one? I have to admi that I have more of that one planned out and I also am, at the moment, writing it more easily. I also have a beta for that story, the wonderful_ Elbereth Gilthoniel _and I just want to know if you would like me to finish this story before I put that one out. I'm really anxious to get that one out, but I also don't want to get stuck on this one and end up being unable to finish it (which is what happened to one of myother stories; a non-Twilight one). I want to thank everyone who has stuck with me despite the time. I love each and every one of you! _**

**_Before we get to the chapter, I have one thing to say: Just HOW amazing was _The Host? _I loved it so much; just as much as Twilight. I do admit that I didn't read it as quickly as any of the Twilight books. I forced myself to relish in it and take my time because we won't have anything else from the wonderful Ms. Meyer until August. Even pacing myself, it only took me two days. Anyway, I'm done jabbering. Go ahead and read the chapter if you actually paid attention to the author's note._**

_Chapter Five: Admissions and Arrivals_

_**Edward**_

I led Bella upstairs, needing to be alone with her. I needed her to calm me down because I knew if she didn't I wouldn't be able to control myself. I knew that if I did not control my instincts, they would take over and I would grab Bella and be running from the Volturi as fast as I could. I couldn't lose her. Not after I just found her again, not after I just became _whole _again. I needed her and I wasn't going to let the Volturi take away my reason for existing.

I shut our bedroom door behind me, letting her go ahead of me. Once the door was shut, I leaned against it as I pinched the bridge of my nose. I shut my eyes and focused on the pressure instead of dwelling on what I had seen in Alice's mind. I sighed in relief and pleasure as Bella's small, soft hand slipped into my free one. She moved closer to me and rested her forehead against my chest and I breathed deeply, taking in her scent. I wrapped my arm around her, removing my hand from my face. As I rested my cheek against her hair, Bella wound her free arm around my waist.

"Edward," she sighed. "Are you all right?"

I tightened my hold on her but discovered that I was incapable of speech. Seeing Alice's vision, seeing my Bella being taken away from me had nearly crippled me. It had felt so real. _Too _real. I marveled, however, at how convenient Bella's gift was at the moment. She knew what I needed to calm down without me having to say a single word. She probably knew what I needed better than I did.

"Bella..." I began when I was finally capable of speaking. "Do you have any idea how difficult it is for me to stop myself from taking you and hiding away?"

Bella pulled away from me ever so slightly and looked up at me. Her smile was soft and sad. I hated to see her smile in such a way; it looked as if she were in physical pain. When she spoke, her voice was choked and pained. "You know that wouldn't help. Demetri can find you even if he can't find me like Carlisle thinks he won't. Edward, running won't help now. Even if it did, even if we could get away safely and Demetri couldn't find us, what about your family? We couldn't just leave them here to fend the Volturi off on their own."

I closed my eyes and pulled her tight against me. I bent my head so my lips brushed against her ear. "I can't lose you." Inexplicably, I felt Bella stiffen and she wrapped both of her arms around my middle, holding me tightly.

"I'm not the one Alice saw getting killed." I could hear how choked Bella's voice was and I realized that Bella was just as terrified at our current situation as I was. We both were scared beyond belief at the idea of losing the other. We both wanted everything to be all right. We both wanted to just be left in peace. I had no way to console her, to comfort her, except to draw her closer to me and rub circles into her back. I dropped my forehead down to rest on her shoulder and pressed my lips against her neck.

"Bella." I whispered. "I love you."

"I love you too." she sighed, kissing my neck as I had hers.

I lifted my head slightly so that my forehead was now resting against hers. "Bella, you do realize that they are your family now, too, right? They have been your family just as much as they have been mine since I brought you to meet them."

She smiled and I could tell that it was a true smile. "I know, Edward, I know. It's just... hard to get used to, knowing that I have a family again. Knowing that I have _you_ again. It feels like a dream."

I chuckled lightly. "I know exactly what you mean, love."

"Edward... I'm scared." she admitted quietly, her voice soft. "I really don't know if I can do this."

I pulled my forehead from hers slightly so I could pull her closer. "Everything will be okay, Bella. I promise, I _swear _to you that everything will be okay. I know that you don't think you are strong enough to do this, Bella, but I know that you are. As long as you do your best, love, we will be able to stop Alice's vision. It will be all right, I promise."

I pulled Bella closer to me, needing her to believe in herself. I knew that if she got the self-confidence she would be able to do anything. I had complete faith in her. I just wished she trusted herself as much as I knew she trusted me.

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_**Bella**_

I was terrified. I knew that Edward had tried to help me, but his effort was futile. Nothing could abate my terror. I could not lose my family. It was hard for me to realize that I had a family again. I had been on my own for so long it didn't feel real to have people who cared about me and loved me again. The last time I had felt any kind of love was when Jake stopped his pack from killing me and I hadn't realized it was Jacob until afterwards. It felt like a dream, to have Edward and Alice and Esme and the rest of the Cullens again. This feeling was only intensified by the reactions that my return had elicited from my family. Rosalie especially. I had never understood why Rose hated me so much, how she could be jealous of _me._ Then my gift alerted me to what she remembered wanting. She had wanted to be human. She had wanted to be loved by everyone just as she had in her prior life. She had wanted to be with her family, which she had not considered me a part of. She didn't want to her family to be broken apart because of me, an insignificant human. Then I knew what she currently wanted. She wanted her family to be whole again and I knew that she considered me a part of that now. I knew that she had wanted Edward to be with me once more. Ten years after Edward had left she had finally begun to understand how much I meant to Edward and how much he meant to me. It was a relief, if not a bit strange. To be on speaking terms with Rosalie was awkward for the both of us.

I was broken from my thoughts by a rush of desires hitting me. I winced slightly at the barrage of new information, unprepared for the familiar rush of wants. Edward turned to me and I could tell he was concerned. "They're coming." I told him quietly. "They're close enough that I know what they want."

"They'll be here in three minutes." Alice whispered from beside Jasper. I swallowed the lump in my throat as Carlisle and Esme stood and went to the door. The rest of us followed and Edward kept his arm wrapped around me all the while. We stood on the porch and waited. I closed my eyes and concentrated on my gift. I tried to separate the different desires to specific people. I pushed away the desires of my family and concentrated on those of the approaching Volturi. I could tell that one person wanted to see Carlisle and how he was doing and wanted to know more about me. This person wanted to read my mind. I knew that this was Aro. I could immediately tell which desires were Jane's because they were all malicious and sadistic. The desires of the guard were strange and hard to decipher. They all seemed to want nothing more than to avoid being harmed and to get back to Italy as soon as possible. Also, they all wanted to be raised in ranks to Aro's side and freed from Jane's wrath. Demetri's desires were harder to find. He did not seem to want anything more than to use his gift. It seemed as if it was the only pleasure he received.

I focused on Jane first and tried to expel the desire to harm my family and me. I concentrated solely on making her want to leave us alone. I made her want to have nothing to do with us. I pulled back my concentration and breathed a sigh of relief upon knowing that she no longer wished to harm any of us. I turned my concentration upon Aro and began to change his desires. I found, however, that I could not make it so he didn't want to take me to Italy because the desire had yet to enter his mind.

"Edward, I can't make Aro not want to take me to Italy yet. It hasn't entered his mind yet." I whispered to him in panic.

Edward tightened his grip on me and kissed the crown of my head. "It's all right, love. What of Jane and Demetri?"

"I made Jane not want to hurt any of us because she wanted to use her power indiscriminately. Demetri doesn't seem to be much harm. His only desire is to use his power and it is of no use anymore – he's already found us. " I whispered to him. "Edward-"

"Bella," he said, effectively cutting me off. "Love, it will be all right. I promise you that I will do everything in my power to make sure everyone stays safe." I nodded but could say no more.

The Volturi had arrived.

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**_A/N: Okay, so if you skipped the author's note at the beginning, go read it please! There is important information in it! Thanks for reading!_**


	6. Six: Trial of Flames

**_A/N: Hey guys! I'm really sorry about the delay. My computer has this massive spyware infection so it has been incredibly difficult to do _anything._ Not to mention finals and research papers from sadistic history teachers... Anyway, I just want to apologize for the lack of update. Good news, though! One chapter left! That's right, readers, there is only one more chapter after this one. I just want to thak everyone in advance for how supportive they've been of me and want to thank all you lovely reviewers for the stunning (and probably undeserving) compliments! Anyway, since there is only one chapter left and the end of school is mere days away, I am going to post my new story right after I get this up. It is entitled Pools of Sorrow, Waves of Joy and is AU/all human. I like to tink that is an original idea, but... meh. Anyway, this also means that I will be able to get the last chapter of this story out fairly quickly. I hope. Well, without further ado, here is Chapter Six of The Very Blackest Kind of Blasphemy.

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_**Chapter Six: Trial of Flames**_

_**Edward**_

I tried to stay calm and believe what I was telling Bella. I tried to believe that everything would be all right and that I would be able to keep her and my family safe. The problem was, I wasn't sure that I could do this. I did know, however, that I would not let my Bella get injured. I would let Alice's vision come true first. I would die before I let them take Bella.

"Carlisle! My friend!" Aro exclaimed. "How wonderful it is to see you again, after so long. You're coven has grown, I see." _Is that her? _He thought. _My, how she clings to Edward! I wonder if she really does know what I want? I have never come across an ability like hers before, if it is true. Hmm... Better not to get ahead of myself. _I forced myself to stay calm, knowing anger would not help here. Aro had been keeping his eye on us. He knew who I was and I could tell that he knew who everyone else was though. It made me wonder if he knew of our abilities.

"Hello, Aro." Carlisle greeted. "Yes, my family has grown. This is my wife, Esme, and our children, Emmett and Rosalie, Alice and Jasper, and Edward and Bella. Aro, if you will excuse me for being blunt, but we know why you have come. You wish to learn of my family's abilities." I could see that he purposefully did not draw attention to Bella. I was glad that Carlisle stated it in this way. It would prove whether or not Aro knew of Jasper, Alice, and my abilities.

"You have caught me, old friend." Aro said congenially. _I wonder who has abilities other than dear Bella... _Ah. So he didn't know. Not that this mattered. He would know soon enough. There was no way out of revealing ourselves. We had decided earlier that it would be too much trouble and would most likely lead to bad events were any of us to try and not touch Aro. "Would you mind, then, if I were to see?" I could see Carlisle stiffen and his thoughts desperately wanted him to say no.

I stepped forward and held out my hand to the incredibly old vampire. Bella stiffened at the loss of contact and I knew she was afraid. I wanted her to know that everything was fine. I could hear her sigh slightly and turned my head ever so slightly to see that she had relaxed. It was then that I realized I could communicate with Bella silently. All I had to do was be very specific with what I wanted. I kept this in the back of my mind even though I knew that in just moments Aro would know. He would know everything. I turned back to him to see greed on his face. When his hand touched mind, it was turmoil.

I remembered everything. Every little detail of my life suddenly came flooding back to me. It was as if I were watching a movie on fast-forward and feeling every emotion all over again. My memories went quickly over everything until they reached Bella. I knew that they were going just as quickly but it seemed as if they were passing more slowly than before. I remembered trying fruitlessly to hear Bella's thoughts in the cafeteria. I remembered lusting after her blood so desperately and wanting to kill her. I remembered talking with her in Biology. I remembered the meadow. I remembered her sleep-talking. I remembered seeing her bloody and broken and having to hold back the instinct to kill her. I remembered drinking her blood, not thinking I would be able to stop but somehow pulling myself away. I remembered when she woke up in the hospital and told me she wanted to be a vampire. I remembered dancing with her at prom and how beautiful and tempting she looked. I remembered her disastrous birthday and knowing that I had to do what was best for her. I remembered the day in the forest, the last day I had seen her since that day in the meadow. I remembered the pain I had gone through for the eighty years that I did not have her. I remembered the desire to go to Italy and ask for death when I realized she Bella was gone. I remembered the assault of emotions as I saw Bella before me in the meadow. I remembered how it felt to hold her in my arms for the first time in eighty years. I remembered how relieved my family had been to see both Bella and myself again. It was perhaps the strangest sensation I have ever experienced, remembering my own memories through another's mind.

Aro pulled away and laughed in amazement. I stepped back and wrapped my arm around Bella. I kissed the crown of her head as she said my name. _"Fascinating!" _Aro exclaimed. "Simply _fascinating! _You can _always _hear a person's thoughts? All of your abilities are simply _marvelous! _Carlisle, my friend, do you know how this boy _sees _you? Fascinating, simply fascinating..." _If I had the Cullen coven at my side, there would be nothing to stop the Volturi... _I stiffened when I heard Aro's thoughts and felt Bella do the same. She must have known his intense desire to have us with him in Volterra. I knew that it would come too soon for Bella to change it.

"Carlisle... will you and your coven join me in Volterra?" Aro asked, his voice pleasant enough on the surface.

"That is for my family to decide on their own." Carlisle said stiffly. "As for Esme and myself, we politely decline." _Edward, Aro will not let us go without a fight. He desperately wants you and Bella and most likely Alice and Jasper by his side. Be careful._

"Emmett? Rosalie?" Aro asked. I knew that he was deliberately leaving Alice, Jasper, Bella, and I for last. I was surprised when neither Emmett nor Rosalie spoke, which was a rare occurrence in and of itself, and merely shook their heads. "Jasper?"

"No, Aro." Jasper stated softly.

Aro turned with greedy eyes to Alice. "Alice, dear... will you join me?" _Will any have the sense to agree? Hmm..._

"No, thank you. My place is here." Alice answered daintily in her lilting voice. Aro was now visibly angry but turned to me all the same.

"You know my answer already." I told him, knowing that he had seen this in my thoughts. I stiffened and tightened my hold on Bella as he turned to her with a malignant gleam in his eye.

"Bella?"

I felt her stiffen and return my tight hold. "No. My place is with my family."

Aro chuckled maliciously in a way that would turn any human's blood cold. "It seems we have a problem, then."

00000000

_**Bella **_

I pressed myself against Edward's side, fearful of the ancient vampire before me. _He wants us. He wants us _badly. _He _needs _us. _I could tell that he was angry we did not agree to join him in Volterra. I realized quickly that it was too late. Aro's desire to have us in Volterra came too quickly for me to change anything. Well, more correctly he acted too quickly on that desire for me to change it. It would be too dangerous for me to change his desire when he has already made it clear that he wants us by his side in Volterra. A small part of me had always known I would not be able to change Aro's mind. It was far too risky. If he suddenly no longer wanted to take us to Italy, the very reason he traveled halfway across the world, it would be suspicious. We could not afford to _be _suspicious.

It took all of my willpower to resist, however. Every part of me wanted to change his mind, to get my family out of danger. I could not risk it, though. If I did, Aro's guard might realize what I had done and take it out on my family. I would not risk Alice's vision coming true. I would not risk my family getting hurt. I would not risk _Edward _getting hurt.

"Is there no way I can persuade you, old friend, to come to Volterra?" Aro asked Carlisle. His voice was now no more than a feeble mask of kindness. He was angry. Very, _very _angry.

"Our family only wishes to live in peace, Aro. Even you must admit that Volterra would not be a peaceful place for my family." Carlisle answered.

Aro seemed to be torn between amusement and chagrin. "You always have had far too soft a spot for the humans." he said, his voice between grim amusement and anger. "Yet, it does not change the fact that the Volturi would very much benefit from the addition of your family."

"I'm afraid that those benefits will not be reaped." Carlisle said, his voice final.

"And I am afraid that I cannot take no as an answer." Aro said. "Jane." Aro said though his eyes were fixed upon me. Suddenly, I realized what was about to happen. I may have changed Jane's desire to harm my family and myself but it did not change the fact that she would still follow an order to harm them. Edward must have realized too, for he stepped in front of me protectively, his eyes fixed upon Jane. Her eyes were also fixed upon me.

"No!" I screamed shrilly just as Edward began to writhe in pain. I let a hateful growl loose from my chest and tried to pounce at Jane. I found that my attempt was halted when Emmett's arms were wrapped around me. "Emmett! Let me go! _Let me go!"_ I screamed hysterically, my eyes fixed upon Edward's pain-stricken face. Sobs left me and I had no control over them. I realized what I could do to save Edward from his pain. I turned to Jane; my eyes were narrowed into a glare, and I gave her a desire that was too strong to refuse. She turned on Aro and made him endure the same pain that Edward had just been released from. His screams filled the air but I ignored them as Emmett released me and I fell into Edward's arms.

"Are you okay?" I asked him, my voice rough. When he nodded, I turned back to Jane and the ancient vampire being tortured. I took away Jane's desire to harm him and he rose from the ground unsteadily. His blood-red eyes were now fixed upon me, hatred burning them.

"You dare to-" he began to question, but I cut him off.

"Yes, I dare." I said hatefully as I stepped away from Edward and moved forward. "And you _will _leave now or I'll do it again."

"If you try, my guard will destroy you and your family." Aro shot back vindictively.

"Do you really believe that I can't change that, Aro?" I asked him mockingly. "If I can make your most beloved servant not want to harm my family, make her _turn away _from my mate to torture _you, _do you really think that I cannot make your guard want to disobey your orders? I could make all of your precious guard want to destroy _you _in a moment. You _will _leave, and you will _not _return." I said, my voice stronger and more commanding than I had ever heard it before.

_He wants to hurt me. He wants to hurt me by hurting Edward again._ I growled and clenched my fists to resist the urge to pounce and attack him. "Don't even think about it. If you try it, I won't hesitate to get you killed."

I have no idea how much time passed in the face off. It could have been seconds, minutes, hours; it may have even been years. All I know is that after an insurmountable amount of time, Aro crumbled. "Very well, I admit defeat. I have to admit that this is a first for me. Congratulations; you are the first to defeat me, Isabella Cullen." I could tell that these words pained him. It struck me as odd that Aro of all people was the first person to give me Edward's last name. After a moment of looking all of us over greedily, he turned to leave. In a split-second decision, I decided to change his desire to have us by his side in Volterra forever. I changed his desire just as I had changed Jane's. For good measure, I made Demetri never want to find me or my family again and resist any orders that were given to him to do so.

Then they were gone.

I breathed out a sigh of relief when I could no longer know their desires. It meant they really _were _leaving. That they really _were _gone. I gasped in surprise when Edward spun me around and pulled me against his chest tightly.

"Do you have _any _idea how dangerous that was?" he asked me, his lips brushing against my ear as he whispered. "He was inches away from killing you himself, Bella!" I wrapped my arms around his waist and held him just as tightly as he was holding me.

"I'm fine." I whispered. "Do you have any idea how worried I was when she- she-" I couldn't get the words out. I couldn't make my lips form the word that explained what happened to him. I could not hold back the sobs that ripped from my throat. I cried tearlessly for how close we had all come to final death. Edward stroked my hair and kissed my neck, his head bent to rest on my shoulder. When I had finally pulled myself together, I pulled away from Edward slightly to see how our whole family had moved closer and formed a circle around us. When they saw that I was okay, we were all suddenly in each other's embrace. Everyone's arms were around someone else and I could not tell who was holding who for many moments.

Edward's arm was around my waist, holding me from behind. His other arm was holding Esme who was nearly hysterical with worry. I had an arm around Alice and we held onto each other tightly. Alice had an arm wrapped around Emmett's waist. Emmett was holding Rose and Rose had an arm around Carlisle. Jasper was on Esme's other side and was grasping Carlisle's hand on his shoulder. I felt sobs start to build up again as I was struck by the undeniable love and relief that was permeating throughout all of us. I was at _home. _

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**A/N: Eh, I really don't have much more to say. Hope you enjoyed and please review! Just read the author's note up top if you haven't already. I love all of you!**

**xoxo Jaciira**


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